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Sarah Biren
Sarah Biren
March 31, 2024 ·  4 min read

12 Reasons Why Old Souls Have Such A Hard Time Finding Love

Old souls possess deep wisdom and maturity. They don’t crave material possessions; instead, they crave meaning. They are extremely intuitive and are well-attuned to the feelings of those around them. Simple pleasures like walking, reading, and even daydreaming give them limitless joy. Their sensitivity is a beautiful trait, but it could also cause them some trouble, especially when developing a romantic relationship. [1]  Here is Why Old Souls Struggle to Find Love:

Read: 4-year-old Girls Insist They’re Twins because They ‘Have the Same Birthday and the Same Soul’

They know themselves 

Portrait of cute girl with freckles and loose brown hair wearing black sports hoodie looks at the camera and walks on the bridge of the modern city background

Old souls have a strong sense of self, which means they also have a clear picture of their ideal partner. They know their boundaries and dealbreakers, as well as what they truly need in a relationship. So they date wisely, choosing to see only the people they believe could fill that role, narrowing their prospects. [2] 

They don’t settle 

Cute girl with ponytail, wearing denim jacket, in crop top with national pattern, sitting at the bus stop and using her mobile phone.

Old souls don’t settle for mediocrity. They know their worth and would rather be alone than in a subpar relationship. They could have long periods of being single because they refuse to date anyone not up to their standards. Casual dating is rare for them since they desire a deep, intimate connection. 

They want to meet naturally 

Side view of a full body of two friends or couple silhouette of teens sitting and talking at sunrise on the beach with the sun in the middle

True to the name, ‘old soul,’ they tend to dream of meet-cutes at a café they frequent or sitting next to their soulmate on a plane ride. Dating websites and apps, one-night stands after a night at the bar, or blind dates, don’t appeal to them. They want to find romantic partners more traditionally. 

They attract fixer-uppers 

Young woman with her eyes closed hugging her boyfriend while standing together on a city street in the late afternoon

Old souls are naturally giving people. They see the potential in others and are compelled to help them achieve it. Because of that, old souls attract people who need healing and guidance. However, that is not the true love old souls need, and they could get side-tracked with the individuals they want to help. They may confuse helping someone with loving someone. 

They dislike ‘games’ 

A handsome and young Asian business man in a crisp white shirt is talking to a woman in a suit. He is making a reluctant, grudging and unimpressed expression on his face as he thinks something over.

Modern dating often feels like a game, and the old souls don’t know all the rules. Things like playing hard to get, waiting before calling back, and not expressing certain interests right away are confusing and annoying for old souls. They prefer to follow their gut and behave honestly, even if it’s against certain dating conventions. 

They carry baggage 

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People with old souls often attain their deep wisdom and maturity through hardships in their youth. These trials shaped the way they dealt with their emotions or perhaps forced them to grow up quickly. While they may appreciate what they have gained from a harsh situation, old souls may have unresolved issues they need to work through before they are fully ready for love. 

Read: This Year, Let Go Of The People Who Aren’t Ready To Love You

They fear 

Sad depressed woman in bed. Lonely person with stress, insomnia and trouble sleeping. Anxiety, sorrow, solitude, grief or panic. Restless tired and desperate girl crying with emotion.

Old souls feel their emotions intensely, and that is also true for their fears. They fear being inadequate for their partners, and they fear something might go wrong in the relationship. These fears could create a rift in their love life, sometimes ruining it entirely. 

They over-think 

Worried concerned millennial business man thinking over bad news, problem solving, feeling stressed, depressed, frustrated, coping with nervous breakdown, emotional crisis. Negative emotions concept

Since they feel their emotions and the emotions of others so intensely, old souls tend to overthink. Their sensitivity could make them privy to worrying information, but they could also make assumptions without a strong foundation and be equally troubled by them. This has the potential to ruin their relationships if left unchecked. 

They have a greater purpose first 

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Old souls may have a dream that they desire to see through to the end before they devote themselves to love. They know that when they are in a relationship, they devote themselves completely to it, and they worry that it would distract them from another purpose. So they push off finding love to achieve those goals first. 

They are very honest 

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Although they are extremely kind, old souls don’t have the patience for games. They value straightforwardness and honestly. In a relationship, they don’t hold back their opinions, even when they might be unwanted. This candor could be off-putting for some people. On the flip side, old souls can’t stand passive-aggressiveness or any kind of shadiness from their partners. 

Read: Michigan Man Found $43,000 Worth Of Cash In A Second-Hand Couch And Returned Everything

They need alone time 

Young man in warm sweater reading book while relaxing on armchair by the window and electric radiator inside cozy log cabin

Old souls crave time alone. They love spending time tending to their creative pursuits, whether reading, writing, music, or art. Being alone helps them refocus on their goals and re-center themselves. Spending too much time with people could make old souls feel stifled, even exhausted. They need plenty of time alone to recharge their energy. 

They want effort 

A couple spend their lifetime and falling leaves

Since old souls have little material wants, they could not be easily bought with lavish gifts. Instead of jewelry and flowers, they’d want tokens of love, like hand-written letters or a little gift that says, “I know you,” like their favorite book or mug for their tea collection. Above everything, old souls want romantic gestures that show dedication and care. The most important sort of effort is open and vulnerable. Old souls need authenticity in their romantic lives. This is sometimes hard to find, but they know that deep love is always worth the wait. 

Keep Reading: Give your love to someone who will always choose you


  1. Ever Been Told You Have an Old Soul? Here’s What That Really Means.” Healthline. Crystal Raypole. November 17, 2020. 
  2. “What’s an old soul?” Inquirer.  Jaime Licauco. September 23, 2014.