Do you have an aunt who you absolutely adore? Me too. Actually, I have three amazing aunts who all play a crucial role in my life.Ā
Of course, our moms are also super important and usually play the biggest role in our lives when weāre young. However, aunts are arguably just as important as our moms when it comes to raising kids.Ā
Donāt believe me? Hereās why.
Growing up, we absolutely love and adore our moms (and dads, of course). We trust them to guide us through our young lives and follow their advice as if no other advice could ever be right.Ā
However, as teens start to get older, we start to form our own opinions in the hope of becoming more independent. So what happens to our relationship with our moms as we become teenagers? We rebel.Ā
Although teens are rebelling and stretching the rules at home, teenagers still, without a doubt, need a positive role model to get through the hardships and heartbreaks that coincide with being a teenager [1].Ā
Who could that be, you might ask. Well, if you guessed your aunt, congratulations, you are 100% right!Ā
How aunts can establish a relationship with their niecesĀ
Building relationships takes time. You donāt just show up in your nieceās life one day expecting to be their shoulder to cry on when you havenāt spent enough time with them during their childhood to build trust between the two of you.Ā
Start early! If your nieces are young now, itās a perfect time to start spending time with them. I remember my aunts taking me out to my favorite restaurants, to the movies, and the zoo! It was awesome to be so comfortable with my aunts so early on. Additionally, when I was spending time with my aunts, my parents also got a few hours off of their parenting duties which Iām sure they appreciated.Ā
Aunts can offer unconditional positive regard
Unfortunately, a big reason why we often feel further away from our mothers as teenagers is because they tell us what to do, and if we donāt do it, we are penalized for it. Thatās not to say rules and boundaries arenāt good to set with your teen. Still, establishing a mother/daughter relationship that is fully transparent can be extremely difficult.
However, an aunt can play a vital role if they offer what is known as unconditional positive regard. Not sure what that is? Unconditional positive regard means that you listen to something your niece is telling you without making her feel like sheās being judged or āmotheredā [2].Ā
All your niece wants is to feel like somebody is listening to her. You donāt even have to like or approve whatever she is telling you. The most important thing is she feels like she CAN talk to you about things.Ā
You donāt have to be perfect, just be you
Luckily, one of the amazing things about being an aunt is that there is no need to be perfect. In fact, when you stop pretending that you are perfect, you start to set a good example of what a real woman actually is like.Ā
In todayās social media-dominated world, most of the role models that young girls have are social media influencers and models. Due to the extreme level of filtering posts and only presenting positive and desirable things, young girls have a distorted idea of what a woman should be.Ā
Be that role model, show the āmessierā sides of your life and expand their horizon to what life has to offer them!Ā
How to be a good aunt when you donāt live close together
Are you looking to build a relationship with your niece or nephew, but you donāt live near them? Not to worry, our modern-day technology can do that trick. Schedule regular phone and facetime calls, send them things they would like in the mail & if you have the money, pandemic permitting, you can fly to see them or fly them out to see you.Ā
Like articles about relationships? Make sure you check out these next:
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- Give your love to someone who will always choose you
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