If you ask anyone what marriage means, regardless of whether they mention hetero- vs. same-sex relationships, one detail is typically the same: Marriage is between two people who love each other romantically. These two women, who currently live in Berlin, rejected that concept. The platonic best friends married each other this past February, stating that they are each other’s ‘soul mates.’ (1)
Platonic Best Friends Marry Each Other
25-year-old Chiderah and 30-year-old Deidre are platonic best friends who married each other earlier this year in their Berlin apartment. The pair, originally from Toronto, Ontario, describe themselves as “anti-establishment” and explain that their relationship “transcends romance.” Chiderah identifies as straight while Deidre identifies as a lesbian, and they met on the dating app Hinge in February 2019 while Chiderah explored her sexuality. (1)
The two women went on one date; however, Chiderah discovered shortly after that she is, in fact, heterosexual. They still enjoyed each other’s company and kept in touch. When Canada went into COVID-19 lockdown, the women began going on walks together four and five hours at a time. From there, their friendship grew from acquaintances to friends, to best friends, to what they now call soul mates. (2)
“When we’re together magic happens,” says Deidre. “It seems like the universe pushed us together.” (1)
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Time For A Change
Both Chiderah and Deidre were highly dissatisfied with their lives in Toronto, which was highlighted even more so by the pandemic. Each expressed a desire to live in Europe, so they decided to move to Berlin together last summer. (1)
“We were in lockdown and both going crazy,” Deidre remembers. “I lost my job, she broke up with her boyfriend and suddenly the things that were keeping us in Toronto were no longer there.” (2)
After living together for five months, Chiderah proposed. (1)
“It was in that moment I saw myself, and I saw our lives flash before my eyes, and I said, “this is the person I want to build a life with.” Chiderah said of her revelation while going through tough times prior to moving to Germany. (1)
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The Perfect Pair
Simply put, the women understand one another on a level that no one else ever has. They support each other in every aspect of their lives and personalities. They are the person that each always searched for in a romantic partner but could never find. (2)
“It was like falling in love with somebody,” Deidre said of their Toronto walking dates. “It was like going on a walking date every single day, and we just talked about everything…relationships; mental illness – because I have borderline personality disorder and she has bipolar disorder – and the fact we wanted to move abroad.” (2)
Now, they are platonic best friends married to each other, though each woman freely dates other people to fulfill the parts of traditional marriage that they can’t do for each other. (1)
“To me, marriage is emotional support and care giving. Those are the central tenets of a healthy relationship, and having experienced romance subtracting more than it added to my life, it really really made sense,” explained Deidre. (2)
Platonic Best Friends, Marriage, and the Future
Currently, they have a dog together, but they have talked about the possibility of one day raising a family together, too. They are also both open to the dynamic of their relationship evolving, should either of them become more seriously romantically involved with someone else. For now, however, they are happy in their shared life, knowing that they always have someone to come home to who loves them for who they are and supports them through the highs and lows of life. (2)
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