Emphasis on the “never.” That’s right, most of 70s men’s fashion should stay in the 70s.
Retro fashion trends always find ways to make stylish comebacks and get in vogue once again. Choker necklaces, sweatpants, ripped denim, wide-leg pants, these trends didn’t start today, but they are currently hot right now. While fashion trends are completely recyclable, some styles are best forgotten forever.
Men’s fashion has improved tremendously over the years, but this was after transitioning through hideous phases. In the 70s, guys donned everything from fur coats and loud-contrasting patterns to vinyl jumpsuits and wool bodysuits. This was a period when the outline of crotches was in vogue, a time when men wore hot mini gowns and silky underpants. They wore animal-print bodysuits and shorts so short they’d have been better off without any clothes on.
Back then, fashion designers and trendsetters were learning how to be bolder and better. The fashion industry was still being established and everyone wanted to come up with something outrageously unique. The competition for creativity was hot, as it has remained since then. Sadly, creativity seemed to have a different meaning in the 70s. If it’s shiny, loud, over-the-top, and fussy, you’re right on track.
My uncle showed me a ‘hot’ picture of him at a college fundraiser, wearing plaid bell-bottom trousers with a belted sweater. The icing on the awkward cake was a pair of black ‘almost’ two-inch heeled boat shoes and in his opinion, he’d been the hottest guy at that event. Sure, no doubt.
There’s no sugarcoating it: 70s men’s fashion was a disaster, and below are some pictures we’ve put together to show you why they should remain in the past.
Say Nay to Stripes and Plaids
The fashion of the ’70s, marked by bold stripes and plaid fabrics for men, holds a nostalgic charm in the annals of style history. However, bringing these patterns back into the forefront of fashion might not be the most ideal choice. While these patterns were iconic in their time, the world of fashion continuously evolves. Today’s trends often gravitate towards a more streamlined and versatile approach, favoring subtlety over the bold patterns that defined the ’70s.
Spandex? No Thanks
Oh, the horror of ’70s men’s spandex outfits! Let’s be real here; nobody needs a blast from the past that involves squeezing themselves into these extremely tight outfits. Those spandex suits made everyone look like they dreamed of becoming a world-famous gymnastic athlete. They revealed every bulge and curve in excruciating detail. Plus, trying to look suave while sporting what felt like a second skin was nearly impossible. Let’s spare humanity from the awkwardness and keep the spandex securely locked away in the fashion vault of never-again!
Belted Sweaters
Allegedly, we have the legendary Ralph Lauren to thank for these awkward fashion ensembles. The belted sweater is one of the most iconic designs from this decade and one that should never be resurrected into the fads of modern fashion. Moreover, the knitted material was often itchy and required maintenance and special washing requirements and the belt could make one’s movements feel restricted. These sweaters might not align with the demands of today’s fashion, where simplicity and ease of wear are valued.
Satin Robes
This robe just screams the aesthetic of Hugh Hefner. The satin robe gave lounging around the house an affinity for style with its luxurious fabric that shimmered elegantly as it moved. However, their resurgence might not be the most practical choice for today’s fashion. In their heyday, satin robes exuded a sense of decadence and theatricality that perfectly complemented the playboy mansion life and even the rock ‘n roll lifestyle. But, not today, Sir.
Flared Pants with Tight Shirts Tucked In
Let’s face it, we’ve had enough of men looking like they were born on a disco dancefloor. The fitted button-down shirts with a v-neck that frames their chest hair are simply a “no.” For some reason, men in the 70s just loved to show off their hairy chests. It’s time to put a halt to this groovy catastrophe and spare our modern sensibilities from the era when even your wardrobe had an identity crisis. The ’70s may have been a blast, but let’s not resurrect this fashion disaster. Unless, of course, you’re attending a disco-themed fancy dress party.
Leather Jackets With Fluffy Collars
Hold onto your bell bottoms, folks, because we need to talk about why the ’70s men’s fashion of leather jackets with fluffy collars should stay firmly in the past. Those jackets were like a confused blend of a tough biker dude and a cuddly teddy bear. So, let’s not revisit an era when men’s jackets had them looking like they were pimping something or someone out. The ’70s had its moments, but this fashion faux pas should stay locked away in the retro vault where it belongs.
Read: I Forgot What The Airlines Were Like In The 70’ s, These Pictures Really Took Me Back
Jumpsuit Long-Johns
This outfit may or may not have been worn out in public. Some would wear them underneath their clothing as a means to keep warm in the winter months. Others would wear them as exercise wear. The latter is definitely frowned upon in the modern world. The former might be excused, especially since no one would see them. Either way, there are definitely better fashion inventions to wear for both situations than a jumpsuit long-john.
Male Onesies!
The disco-loving dancers were huge fans of these onesies. The tight-fitted clothing and disco dancing of that era often posed challenges, as their shirts were meant to be tucked into their pants, but they tended to ride up or come untucked during energetic dance moves. With their one-piece design, Onesies solved this problem by ensuring everything stayed in place. However, disco is a thing of the past, and shirts no longer need to be tucked. So, let’s leave these onesies in our fond memories.
Tight-fitted jumpsuits
These tight-fitted jumpsuits were an ergonomic nightmare. They squeezed the life out of your comfort and dignity simultaneously, leaving you feeling like a trip to the restroom was borderline impossible. Or at least an Olympic-level ordeal. Let’s face it, fashion should enhance our lives, not make us question our life choices. The ’70s gave us disco music; let’s leave the tightfitting jumpsuits where they belong.
Remember how Mrs. Weasly would knit a jumper for each of her children over Christmas and insisted they wore them all day? Well, this style just screams Weasley fashion. It’s almost as if this father and son duo planned to match on the day with their matching knitted vests. Not to mention the contrasting long-sleeved shirts underneath. The colors are a little too vibrant for the modern world which favors earthy tones.
Tight-Fitted Psychedelic Shirts
The ’70s men’s fashion of tightfitting psychedelic satin shirts should stay in the past for more than a few reasons. While they had their moment in the disco spotlight, these shirts were a bit too vibrant for everyday wear. Their bold patterns and snug fit made subtlety nearly impossible. Plus, they were not the most comfortable choice, feeling more like a second skin than clothing. Let’s appreciate the nostalgia from afar.
Knitted Ponchos
The ’70s saw the rise of men’s knitted ponchos, and while they had their moment, their comeback might not be the most practical choice. They were first popularized by cowboys, who got the look from Native American tribes. Although undeniably stylish and comfortable, these ponchos can be quite limiting in terms of versatility. In today’s fast-paced world, where multifunctional clothing is valued, the traditional poncho may not align with the demands of modern lifestyles.
Men’s Night Dresses
The ’70s had its share of fashion experimentation, and men’s night dresses were one such venture. While these garments may have been a symbol of comfort and relaxation for some, their return might not align with modern expectations. In today’s world, where sleepwear often leans towards simplicity and functionality, the night dress may not be the most practical choice. It’s essential to recognize that fashion evolves with changing times and preferences.
Snug Underpants
The snug underpants of the 1970s may not align with today’s emphasis on comfort and style. According to Healthline, tight-fitting underpants have adverse health effects. They squish the genitals in such a way that their temperature rises and may lower the sperm count. Moreover, this crocheted version may have showcased everything worth showing off, but they’re not recommended to wear out and about in public. Or around young children.
Straight From Sherwood Forest
For some reason, the 1970s era just loved these belted sweaters. As we mentioned previously, they had a tendency to restrict movement. However, this particular example was ever-so-popular. It was the Robin Hood look, making men look like they stepped out of Sherwood Forest. This would be better suited for a costume party than an everyday outfit in today’s fashion world. Some things are just better left in the past.
Matching Undies and Vests
Today’s fashion sensibilities lean more toward minimalistic aesthetics. These matching underpants and vests are the furthest thing from that. They are vibrant in color as well as pattern, making them hard to miss. They lead the eye to unwanted places, showing off the less flattering side of a man’s physique, giving each of them a dad-bod aesthetic. Let’s be honest: this design makes people think of one character. His name was Borat. So, would anyone like to wear this coordinated underwear suit?
The Sophisticated Farmer Look
Plaid, plaid, and more plaid! The 1970s sure did love their country chic. While this style had its moment in the sun, its return today might not find the same resonance. Back then, country chic was all the rage, with plaid fabrics adding a rustic charm to wardrobes. However, fashion evolves with the times, and today’s trends tend to favor a more diverse and eclectic approach. Today’s fashion leans more towards a modern grunge appeal, so we may as well leave plaid outfits in a box in the attic.
Fashion trends are as dynamic as they are exciting. However, designers back in the 70s need to be held accountable for the monstrosities they doled out as “stylish and “in-vogue.”
Nowadays, while everyone wants to bring back something from the past in a new, glamorous way, some trends are better left to rest in peace. There’s no glamor to be unleashed from spandex mini gowns. It’s a relief that we do not have to look at men walking about in jumpsuits made of leather and extra long-legged plaid trousers hugging at the hips. Luckily it seems like some of these trends might stay in the past, but fashion is cyclical. Something tells us we will be seeing these, or versions of these, at some point. When will that be? Who knows.
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