Relationships can have a lot of turmoil, and finances are one of the most common subjects in that regard. Some believe being in a relationship means sharing everything, down to their bank account details and more. However, that is hardly a wise decision in today’s world when it is so easy to misuse that information.
u/Disces1433, unfortunately, is experiencing it first-hand. It’s actually quite a bit worse in her case, according to her story on the popular subreddit AITA (Am I The A**hole?). She might actually have to start worrying about everything she has already shared with her “partner”.
The Questionable Financial Emergency
Her story begins with a brief introduction:
“I f31 have been with my boyfriend m37 for 8 months. He has 3 kids and is a single dad. We’re on pretty good terms regarding almost everything. When it comes to money and spending, we’d take turns to invite each other out weekly (we don’t live together obviously).”
She adds that the BF has also asked her occasionally to pay for something for the kids. But since it’s only about $30 to $60, she never turned it down. Besides, she later admits that she loves the kids very much.
The problem begins with a sudden “emergency”:
“The other day, he called me while I was at work and sounded like he was in a hurry. He said he just found the gaming device he’s been looking for for so long and wanted to buy it for his oldest son. I asked what’s this have to do with me, and he told me he was short on money and needed $300. He asked me to lend him the $300 and I hesitated but agreed. He asked for my bank account info so he could pull the money but I refused and told him to wait for me til I get there. He insisted and said he’d handle it, all I had to do was just send him my bank account info after I end the call with him.”
This insistence would make anyone worry, and OP was not an exception. The phone call ended with BF getting extremely angry and loud at OP for refusing to give him her bank details.
Similar: Man Gets Angry At Wife For Having A Private Personal Savings Account
No Relief At Home
The story continues when OP returned home to find her BF waiting outside:
“He asked why I didn’t just send him the account info so he could pull the money we agreed on. I told him I don’t feel comfortable letting anyone have my personal info especially when it comes to finances . He got offended and said “I’M NOT JUST ANYONE, I’M YOUR F’ING PARTNER!!” Then went on a rant about how he ended up not paying the gaming device after looking for it for so long and now his kid is mad at him and it’s my fault.”
In the end, he stormed off and wanted an apology from OP to him as well as his son. However, when OP did go and talk to the both of them, something alarming came to light:
“…turns out that the gaming device thing was a lie. He wanted the money for something else, to help pay for one of his buddies car repair. I was shocked when he confessed and said he had to lie and make it about his kids to get me to lend him the money. You can only imagine my reaction after this, I just blew up at him and left without giving him any chance to respond. He tried calling my phone (still trying) but I decided I want some space to think about what happened and really re-evaluate our relationship.”
OP ends the post by saying that she needed space and time to reevaluate her relationship with the BF. A very wise reaction, if we do say so.
Read: Woman Who Refuses To Date ‘Lazy Men’ Says Women Should Dump Boyfriend If They Don’t Gym 5 Times A Week
The Internet Is Unanimous About The Relationship
Just like OP, the Reddit community’s reaction was more or less on the same page – the OP was NTA at all. In fact, they are actually worried about the OP being abused:
“OP is being gaslit by her BF. He waited for her to outside her home to light into her for not giving him her bank account info? And, he expects her to apologize to him and his son because he didn’t have enough money to buy an unnecessary gaming device!?! WTAF?! OP, you’re being manipulated and made to feel guilty for being rational. He’s using you. It’s only the beginning. But it’s up to you whether you allow it to continue. Drop this loser and move on. NTA.”
Others told her to be even more careful after parting ways with the BF:
“OP, if you break up with him (and IMO you SHOULD) you should also think about changing your locks even if you never gave him a key. This sounds like the kind of guy who wouldn’t think twice about making a secret copy of your house key and, if caught, saying “oh it was just in case of emergency! What if we were nearby and a kid got hurt/needed to use the bathroom? Don’t you trust me? I’m your partner!”
Perhaps, the best advice was for OP herself:
“Throw the whole man out and really spend some time sorting through why you think you’re the irrational one in this scenario. Otherwise, I worry you’re just going to keep finding boundary-stompers, and won’t figure it out until you’re left with an empty bank account, shredded self-esteem, and nothing to show for it.”
What do you think?
Keep Reading: Reddit Users React To Photo Of Baby’s Tiny Manicure
- “AITA for refusing to let my boyfriend have my bank account info to make a purchase?” Reddit
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