Weddings are usually fun-themed, and people are generally happy when there is a wedding in the family. But sometimes, there could be certain issues that create a damper on the entire situation. The only end is a total mess. On r/AITA, a sad and disappointed father posted about how he wouldn’t pay for his daughter’s marriage due to certain circumstances. Without knowing further, we would all pick up our pitchforks, but then we come to know that the daughter’s in-laws weren’t ready to accept that OP was bisexual. This took place in 2022- so such a conservative approach to life is definitely disappointing.
Dad Refuses To Pay For Wedding Over Daughter’s Homophobia
“My ex-wife and I had our daughter at a very young age, (18) we got married, after six years of marriage I could find myself and come out to my wife, she understood and we had a very amicable divorce and split custody, my daughter was always daddy’s girl and always got along well with my partner (38M) of 14 years. She is planning her wedding (I was paying for it) and let me know a few things she wanted for her special day:
· Since their future in-laws are so conservative and religious, my husband is not allowed to attend the wedding; I said: OK it’s your day.
· My son (2) can’t attend either. No, it’s not going to be a child-free wedding.”
With such requirements in place, how could any self-respecting individual attend a wedding- even if it is their own family’s? OP then stated, “Therefore, I told her that if her in-laws are so important, they should pay for the wedding, she got mad at me and called me a child and said that if I keep on with this “attitude” she’ll ask her FIL to walk her down the aisle, then I said: “fine if my family isn’t welcomed and I’m excluded, I’m not paying for the wedding”, She was furious and said I was being selfish, picking favourites, and not thinking about her at all.”
We think OP’s daughter messed up big time but what did r/AITA have to say about that?
r/AITA Wasn’t Having Any Of The Homophobia
u/FoolMe1nceShameOnU perfectly encapsulated it, “The moment your own daughter told you that your partner was not welcome at her wedding because of her homophobic in-laws, you became absolutely NTA. You are not required to pay for an event – not even your daughter’s wedding, not even if once-upon-a-time you promised her you would – at which your life partner, the man you love, the father of your other child, and a man WHO HAS NEVER DONE ANYTHING TO HURT OR BETRAY YOUR DAUGHTER IN ANY WAY (most importantly) is not welcome to stand by your side as a welcome member of your family. Period.”
u/WillLoveCoffee4Ever1 responded with, “You’re her father, that hasn’t changed. These people came into her life when her boyfriend, now fiancé introduced her to them. She’s putting their lifestyle and beliefs above her own father. You have no obligation to pay for her wedding and for her to threaten you with asking the FIL to walk her down the aisle, is petty, childish and just plain nasty. You’re not even invited to this farce, anymore. You are her DAD not her personal BANK!! Not a penny! Seriously.”
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u/thequejos went on to state, “Your daughter has decided that she can’t please everyone. She has chosen to please her bigoted new family and reject the people who lovingly raised her. Bonus points, she is trying to be the victim in her narrative. OP, I’m so sorry you are being disrespected in such a blatant way. Be strong and stay true to yourself and your lovely family. Your husband and son will never forget how you stood up for them. NTA of course.”
Reddit Thinks That The Father Has Been Belittled
Most commenters realized how badly the daughter messed up, as she chose her fiance’s family over her father’s. While it is definitely their opinion, regardless of how faulty it is, the father also has the option of not paying for it. Another individual commented, “I don’t understand this attitude. You and your husband will turn up, sit in your seats, eat some food and dance with your son. What’s the problem? Is she worried you’re going to have sex on top of the cake? I mean if that’s the case, then don’t do that. Not because you’re a same sex couple, but because it’s a no at weddings. Save it till you get home. If they’re so uncomfortable with other people existing then maybe they shouldn’t come.”
u/loveyabunches raised a valid question- “Dude, I would have been out as soon as she said your husband of 14 YEARS couldn’t attend. He’s been in her life since she was 7. Is there more to this story than you’re telling us? Does she not have a relationship with him or your son?”
u/Lucylovei said what all of us were thinking- “This is pretty messed up and says a lot about the amount of respect she has for you. Purposely excluding your partner of 14 years because her new in-laws are homophobic? That’s insane and completely rude. You’re right, if she cares so much for them and they’re so important, they can pay. You clearly aren’t important enough. The comment about new FIL walking her down the aisle is a low blow, she said that to hurt your feelings and manipulate you.”
Keep Reading: 25 Seriously Funny Reddit Posts That Kept Us Smiling Throughout All Of 2022
- “AITA for refusing to pay for my daughter’s wedding even if I promised to?” Reddit. 2022.
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