Becoming a parent is one of the hardest jobs you can take on. There’s no training, no manual – one day this tiny little stranger enters your life and completely takes over. Of course, you love your child, but sometimes it’s hard not to reminisce back on a time when your life was, well, yours. Instagram account Got Toddlered does just that – highlighting life before and after having kids and just how different those two worlds are.
Life Before and After Having Kids: A Photo Series
Mike Julianelle, Brooklyn-based dad and author of the blog Dad and Buried created Got Toddlered as a way to show life before and after having kids and how drastically children change your life.
From Friday night parties, concerts, and international back-packing trips to spit-up, diaper changes, and passing out by 8:30 pm, very quickly your life looks very different.
The majority of Got Toddlered are photos submitted by followers of them before having kids versus after. Julianelle then stitches them together, throws a witty caption on it, and boom: You’ve been, well, toddlered.
These are just a few of the hilarious pictures he posts proving that having kids really is something else.
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1. If I fits, I sits
Your nights of staying up late for epic movie marathons have morphed into lullaby sessions that have you crooning “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star” with all the enthusiasm of a rock star. You’ve traded in late-night revelry for late-night diaper changes and soothing your little one back to sleep.
2. Remembering a simpler time
Your wardrobe once featured pristine shirts and ironed pants. But now, you’ve embraced the title of Spit-Up Survivor with pride. You’ve learned to navigate the art of dressing strategically, always keeping a burp cloth within arm’s reach. Your attire is a canvas for abstract spit-up art, and you wear those milky badges of honor!
3. Before and after having kids: A different meaning to the words “double fisting”
You used to be a night owl, reveling in late-night adventures and parties that seemed to last until dawn. Now, you’ve transformed into a sleep training sage, armed with white noise machines and swaddle blankets. Your evenings revolve around the delicate art of establishing bedtime routines and soothing your little one to sleep.
4. You’re not as hard-core as you think you are
Attending concerts used to be a passion, reveling in live music and cheering for your favorite bands. Now, you’ve become a lullaby composer, crafting original tunes to coax your little one into dreamland. Your audience may be small, but their appreciation is immeasurable.
5. From beauty queen to someone else’s throne
Your wardrobe may have once rivaled a fashion magazine spread, but now it’s all about stain removal. You’ve become a stain detective, deciphering the mysterious origins of spaghetti sauce, marker ink, and that unidentifiable goo on your favorite shirt. Your laundry room is now your battleground, and the washing machine your trusty steed.
6. To think the only person who used to throw up on you, was you
Remember “me” time? It’s now as mythical as Bigfoot sightings – both elusive and rumored to exist. A hot bath or a moment to read a book alone will become your Holy Grail. Even a trip to the bathroom becomes a family affair, with little fingers poking under the door, and your child asking existential questions while you’re trying to have a moment of solitude.
7. Just a little bit lower energy
Remember those glorious eight-hour sleep marathons? Well, now they’re more mythical than unicorn sightings. As a parent, your nights are filled with more wake-up calls than a rooster on steroids. You’ll become a connoisseur of coffee and learn to cherish those precious moments when you can squeeze in a nap.
8. From dancing queen to clean-up crew
Remember the days when your idea of a wild Friday night was hitting the hottest clubs in town? Now, your idea of a wild Friday night is staying up past 10 p.m. to finish folding laundry and maybe catch an episode of your favorite TV show before collapsing into bed. The dance floor has been replaced by the living room, and your moves now involve the “Baby Shark” dance routine.
9. What is St. Patrick’s Day again?
Spontaneous road trips and fun outings used to be your forte. Now, you’re a diaper bag dash champion, racing against time to gather supplies for a trip to the grocery store. Forget whimsical detours; your route is strictly determined by the shortest path to the nearest diaper-changing station.
10. Part parent, part horse
Your social calendar once resembled a bustling beehive, buzzing with events and gatherings. Now, you’re the playdate planner, orchestrating get-togethers with other parents and scheduling them around nap times and snack breaks. Your conversations shift from party anecdotes to discussions about teething and potty training.
11. The word “dad” just hits differently now
12. Before and after having kids: No more daytime daiquiris
Your passport used to be your most cherished possession as a frequent flyer, but now you’re the commander of car seats. Traveling now involves the strategic placement of booster seats, wrestling with unruly seatbelts, and the inevitable backseat snack negotiations.
13. The term “casual stroll” doesn’t exist anymore
our adventurous spirit now finds its home in nature exploration with your little one. Hiking trails, birdwatching, and critter-catching adventures become your weekend staples. Your heart swells with pride as you watch your child’s eyes light up at the sight of a squirrel or a ladybug.
14. Off for a bike ride: Before and after having kids
You used to seek adventure in far-off lands, exploring exotic destinations and conquering new heights. Now, your idea of adventure is venturing into your own backyard with a toddler armed with a magnifying glass, ready to discover the fascinating world of ants and dandelions. Who needs a passport when you have a sandbox?
15. “Remember when I was an only child?”
Your beloved fur baby used to be the center of attention, pampered with gourmet dog food and designer collars. Now, they’ve become your toddler’s trusted sidekick, enduring tea parties, dress-up sessions, and endless cuddles. They’ve traded gourmet meals for half-eaten snacks and occasional diaper duty.
16. Taking life at a slower pace
The thrill of taking risks used to be your adrenaline rush. Now, your heart races at the sight of a playground slide, and you hover over your child like a helicopter parent. You’ve become an expert at wrapping your little ones in metaphorical bubble wrap to protect them from all of life’s bumps and bruises.
17. When happy hour used to be for you
Your social calendar once resembled a game of Tetris, fitting in brunches, parties, and gatherings. Now, you’re the proud owner of a social life that revolves around playdates, baby yoga classes, and parent-teacher meetings. Your evenings are less about painting the town red and more about convincing your child that bedtime is, in fact, a good idea.
18. Before and after having kids: A different kind of drinking game
ack in the day, you were the beer pong champion, making every shot count and celebrating victories with triumphant cheers. Now, you’re a sippy cup strategist, expertly arranging cups of milk and juice on the high chair tray. Your aim is to ensure your toddler’s hydration game is on point.
19. At least he’s still finding time to catch some rays
In your pre-parenting days, you were a sunbathing sensation, lounging on the beach, and perfecting your tan. Now, you’ve evolved into a sandcastle architect, armed with buckets, shovels, and an unwavering commitment to constructing the ultimate fortress by the waves. Your beachfront real estate has shifted from a sunbathing towel to a sandy kingdom.
20. I don’t think she wants s’more
In your carefree days, mischief was your middle name. You were the mastermind behind epic pranks and spontaneous road trips. But now, you’re more likely to be found at home, creating Pinterest-worthy snack platters for playdates and researching the latest childproofing hacks to keep your little explorer safe. The only capers you’re pulling off involve capers as an ingredient in your toddler’s snack.
It’s A Tough Job, But Someone’s Gotta Do it!
If there’s anything that Got Toddlered shows, it’s that parenting is certainly not a glamorous job. While your kids may completely turn your life upside down, one thing is certain: In between the clean-ups, tantrums, and moments of pure exhaustion, they’re your kids. You love them, and you wouldn’t take your old life back even if you could (Well… okay, maybe for just one night!).
Bravo to all the hard-working parents out there, may this article help you laugh a little at your own life and help get you through the tough days. What stories do you have of before and after having kids?
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