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Jade Small
Jade Small
February 22, 2024 ·  8 min read

25 examples of the funniest misconceptions men have had about women

The phrase that men are from Mars is old, but it has definitely held some truth in its existence. No matter how much we evolve as a species, men seem to misunderstand how women function. We are like mythical creatures that walk among men, or at least that’s how one Reddit led you to believe. One user asked the women of Reddit if they had come across any stranger than strange misconception a man has had over women. Needless to say, there are some seriously, and hilariously, confused men out there.

1. Vagina misconceptions

“A male classmate who sat behind me kept whispering my name, so I turned around and asked what he needed. He said he had a really important question, but didn’t want to seem stupid. At this point, I was still under the impression he was talking about something regarding the class so I just told him to ask and I’ll do my best to answer. He proceeds to ask, ‘A girl’s vagina is just like an inverted dick, right?’ I was so caught off guard by the question that I never actually gave an answer.”Nice_Plant4367

2. Just hold it in

TheLittleCas, Sora Shimazaki, said “Went on a date with a guy whilst on my period. We ended up kissing on the date and he asked if we could do the deed. I told him that I was on my period and didn’t really feel up to it.”

You might assume he accepts that as an adequate answer. But Sora then said, “He rolled his eyes and sighed. Can’t you just hold it in? I promise it’s worth it. I didn’t have any words, just left.”

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3. Periods come monthly, Dad…

When I was 17, I needed to ask my dad for money to buy period products,” said 18justme, Skylar Kang. “He just said: ‘You needed money for this reason the previous month. It’s not like you have your period every month’. I just stood there in chock, and borrowed some money from a friend until my mom got back the next week. It’s not like he and my mom had been married for almost 20 years, and the fact that he was 56 lol.”

4. Always white and dry misconception

Sweetpotatonerd said, “My male friend told me that I don’t necessarily know what blood looks like. And that when period blood gets soaked up by a pad or tampon it’s no longer visible and soaks into the product losing the blood colour. So pads are always white and dry.”

You don't know what blood looks like
Image credit: pexels

5. You’re too tall

“I met a guy on tinder that didn’t think we could have sex bc I was taller than him. Like he physically thought it wouldn’t work/fit together or something. Needless to say I never talked to him again.” said throwRA2748596. “Also, the first thing he said when I walked up to meet him in person was “Holy shit you’re a giant! Why didn’t you tell me??” It was a pretty awkward date.”

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6. Is your Hymen intact?

“That an intact hymen means you’re a virgin and a torn/broken one means you’re not. You can have sex and your hymen remain unbroken and you can tear your hymen running, jumping, doing splits, stretching, etc,” said TicklesPickles , Alexander Dummer

7. Vaginas are no place for puppies!

fritzgerald22 shared their misconception story, “Once I made a comment about keeping my puppy close to my bosom after his first bath, and the guy said that it was disgusting. I was confused, he explained quickly to me that I shouldn’t hold a puppy against my vagina.

no place for puppies
Image credit: pexels

8. No children for you!

A friend’s boyfriend thought that it was biologically impossible for lesbians to get pregnant. Like, once they realize they’re gay, their ovaries just shrivel up and quit, so they can never have kids. His reasoning was that he’d never met a lesbian couple with children (this was a one-horse town with like 2000 residents, he’d never met a lesbian couple, period.)” said ArcadiaPlanitia.

9. Stop overreacting misconception

This person assumed one of the worst things to assume with a woman. Apparently, period pain does not exist in his world… key word being “his”. ionfckingwannabehere said, “Periods are painless. We all overreact.

Read: Can You Solve 12 Tricky Equations From A Difficult 9th Grade Math Test?

10. Someone help these confused men!

LibertyRambo shared not one, but four grave misconceptions men have about women. Moreover, she reportedly has more. “We can pee out sperm, fetus will come out traumatized if mother’s have sex while pregnant, women can only get pregnant while on their period, and thousands more.”

11. Magical “pussy juice”

This guy’s misconception was that his wife’s vagina will heal all wounds. WH1SKEYHANGOVER said, “I used to work with a guy who thought his wife’s, and I quote, “pussy juice” speeded up healing. He was an auto mechanic so his hands always had cuts or scrapes. If he cut his finger he would talk about finger-blasting his wife so the cut would heal faster.”

12. A punny misconception

ZoneWombat said, “Recently on Twitter some guy posted the question: “Since having a period is passing a dead baby every month, how do women emotionally deal with it?” Not really a funny misconception (oh god sorry about that pun) but I’m still gobsmacked.”

13. Pregnancy confusion

Delicious_Version892‘s ex thought they could play god by getting her to change her diet while pregnant. “My ex legitimately thought I could control the sex of the baby via sexual position at conception or eating certain foods.”

pregnant belly
Image credit: pexels

14. It all comes from the same hole, right? Wrong.

Raxtenko shared their story, “Not a woman but I had a friend who got upset because his girlfriend couldn’t hold her period in like pee because it’s the same hole.” Then, other people commented sharing similar scenarios they experienced while on their period. freethenipple23 replied saying, “My ex yelled at me for not holding it after I bled through a tiny bit onto his relative’s white dining room chair cushions.”

15. Fine one moment, then sick the next

Rabbitwarriorreturns said, “My boyfriend (32) was confused that I felt totally fine on one day of my period, and then very sick on the next day. I guess he thought we consistently feel the same way throughout, or that it always gradually gets better. He didn’t realize our period pain/sickness can be totally random.”

16. The terrible misconception that periods make girls horny

One guy assumed that periods turn women on. KitKatCookie9 described the scenario. Reportedly he said, “I thought being on your period makes you horny?” To which she replied, “No dude, I’m having cramps and in pain, headaches, fatigue, I only want to sleep. By myself.”

Read: 12 Times People’s Math Didn’t Quite Add Up

Women laughing hysterically
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17. Women skip porn

Saberleaf described the misconception she was faced with. She said, “I (woman) once argued with a guy who kept saying that women aren’t into porn for the porn part but for the story and aren’t turned on by sex or naked bodies at all. He definitely thinks that to this day because my argument that “I’m a woman and skip any story part in porn” was met with “Just because you’re a woman it doesn’t mean you know what women like.”

18. just like normal blood

ArcadiaPlanitia said, “I think men also tend to assume that period blood is 100% the same as the blood you see when you cut yourself—thin, bright red, etc (which I guess is a fair assumption.) Lots of men have no idea that period blood can contain clots and tissue, or that the color of it can vary throughout the cycle. They assume it’s just a constant, plain red drip like a nosebleed or something.”

19. Blue pee

This girl’s ex had a strange misconception over the color of women’s urine. Im_Prolly_Depressed said, “My ex boyfriend saw a TikTok that said (as a joke) that us women have blue piss if we were really mad and asked me if he could see it I obviously said no and told him that it wasn’t true but he seemed to not believe me so now I stay up till 3am every night thinking about it, Mark if your reading this, I’m so sorry that you’re stupid enough to believe something off TikTok.”

Two women laughing
Image credit: pexels

20. A UTI is a red flag!

This girls ex thought that a bladder infection meant she was not being faithful. As if omen are not susceptible to so many bacteria in that area? Heterozygoats said, “That getting a UTI meant I was cheating on him. What?”

21. Tampons and sex misconceptions

Competitive-Show-272 wrote, “Men thinking that women who prefer pads over tampons can’t handle d*ck. WHAT. Lol.” Then Fabulous_Title replied, “I heard the opposite, that’s women who don’t wear tampons are too loose to hold them in from all the slutty sex they’ve had.”

22. Don’t they just zip shut?

One girl described a misconception that a schoolmate had of vaginas. One could cut him some slack, he was only 14 years old at the time. ImabratYah said, “That our hole can zip shut. a boy in my class last year told me this and i still find it hilarious. mind you he was about 14/15 ish.”

23. Milk on demand misconception

This woman met a man who thought women always had beast milk. Even if they don’t have children. JustAnotherAviatrix said, “That women can produce breast milk on demand, even if they’ve never been pregnant. If that were true, it would be very inconvenient to say the least.”

24. Big Egg theory

Musikaravaa wrote, “You can just turn your period off. Alternatives to this are “the big egg” theory where you have a period in a toilet all at once and also pass an egg big enough to see and the “just hold it” where they think you can squeeze your vaginal opening like a sphincter and just not bleed.

woman amused over men's misconceptions
Image credit: pexels

25. I’m that guy with misconceptions…

One brave man joined the thread of women to bravely admit he used to have the misconception women had only one hole for everything. He wrote: I’m a guy but I used to think that women only had one hole…”

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  1. 30 Times Men Did Not Know How Simple Things About Women Work.Bored Panda. Jonas Grinevičius and Mantas Kačerauskas. January 2022
  2. 25 examples of the funniest misconceptions men have had about women.Scoop Upworthy. Jisha Joseph. September 19, 2022.