Most people talk about toxic relationships, but unhealthy friendships can be just as damaging—sometimes more. These are the connections that leave you second-guessing yourself, emotionally exhausted, or constantly on edge. And the worst part? The signs aren’t always loud or dramatic. Sometimes it’s the quiet shift in how you feel after spending time with someone. Maybe you don’t laugh like you used to. Maybe you feel drained instead of supported. Friendships are supposed to lift us up, not leave us questioning our worth. If something feels off, trust that feeling. Here are eight warning signs your friendship might be doing more harm than good.
1. They Make Everything About Themselves
Some friends dominate every conversation. They never ask how you’re doing or let you share your story. You might notice they only call when they need something. Your problems get brushed off or ignored completely. They talk over you, interrupt, or change the subject to themselves. You rarely feel heard. A healthy friendship involves give-and-take. It shouldn’t feel like you’re their personal cheerleader or therapist. When you feel invisible or drained after hanging out, that’s a red flag. Friendship should feel mutual, not one-sided. You deserve space to speak and be supported too.
2. They Disrespect Your Boundaries
Boundaries are healthy. Good friends respect them. Toxic friends, on the other hand, ignore or mock your limits. You might say you’re too tired to talk—and they call anyway. Or they share secrets you asked them to keep. They push you to do things you’re uncomfortable with. Or make fun of your preferences and needs. They treat your boundaries as inconvenient. That’s a major sign of disrespect. Over time, you may feel like your needs don’t matter. But they absolutely do. Healthy friends honor your limits. If someone can’t do that, it’s worth reconsidering the relationship.
3. You’re Always Walking on Eggshells
In healthy friendships, you can be yourself. You don’t have to monitor your every word. But with a toxic friend, you feel nervous or tense. You’re always afraid of setting them off. They might get upset over small things. Or take offense at harmless comments. You start filtering what you say. Or avoid certain topics just to keep the peace. That’s emotional labor you shouldn’t have to do in a friendship. Friendship should offer relief, not stress. If you dread conversations, that’s a big warning sign.
4. They Constantly Compete With You
Friends should celebrate each other. Not turn every achievement into a competition. If your friend downplays your success, that’s a red flag. So is jealousy disguised as sarcasm. They might brag when they do something better. Or quietly resent your progress. They compare themselves to you in unhealthy ways. You feel judged, not supported. This kind of competition erodes trust and closeness. It’s not about growing together—it’s about outshining you. True friends root for each other. If someone treats you like a rival, something’s off.
5. They Gossip About Others—Including You
Everyone vents sometimes. But constant gossiping is toxic behavior—especially when it involves people you both know. If your friend spills everyone’s secrets, they’ll probably share yours too. Worse, you may hear they’ve been talking behind your back. That breaks trust quickly. They might say something hurtful, then laugh it off as a joke. Or deny ever saying it. If you can’t trust them with your truth, it’s not a safe connection. Healthy friendships are built on honesty and loyalty. Without those, the bond crumbles.
Read More: 6 Toxic Phrases That Serve as Red Flags in Relationships
6. They Drain Your Energy
Some friendships leave you energized. Others feel exhausting. If you always feel depleted, it’s time to pay attention. Toxic friends often demand constant attention. They call during work, expect instant replies, or monopolize your free time. You might feel obligated to help—yet your own needs go unmet. Over time, your mental health can suffer. You may feel emotionally burned out or resentful. Friendship should lift you up—not wear you down. If your friend consistently drains you, that’s not healthy. You deserve balance, not emotional exhaustion.
7. They Disappear When You Need Support
Good friends show up in hard times. Toxic ones vanish—or make it about themselves. If you’re struggling, they might change the subject. Or offer fake concern without follow-through. They could even dismiss your feelings or criticize your choices. That adds pain when you need care. When you’re always there for them—but they never return the favor—it creates imbalance. Support should go both ways. If it doesn’t, you’re not in a healthy friendship. Trust your instincts. If someone’s absence hurts more than their presence helps, it’s time to reflect.
8. You Don’t Feel Like Yourself Around Them
One of the clearest signs of a toxic friendship? You start changing who you are. Maybe you hide parts of your personality to avoid judgment. Or act differently just to fit in. You might laugh at jokes you find offensive. Or agree with things that make you uncomfortable. Over time, you stop feeling like you. That’s not friendship—that’s fear. Healthy connections allow space for authenticity. You should feel safe to be your full self. If someone makes you shrink, it’s not worth holding onto.
When to Let Go of an Unhealthy Friendship
Not every friendship is meant to last forever. People grow apart—and that’s okay. But when a friendship turns toxic, it’s time to act. Start by reflecting on how the relationship makes you feel. Do you feel respected? Heard? Safe? If not, consider setting boundaries or having an honest conversation. If that doesn’t help, walking away is a valid option. Letting go can be painful—but staying can be worse. Your peace matters. So does your mental health. Surround yourself with people who make you feel loved, not less than.
How to Heal After Ending a Toxic Friendship
Ending a friendship can bring relief—but also sadness, guilt, or confusion. That’s totally normal. Give yourself space to grieve. Acknowledge the good times without ignoring the harm. Talk to someone you trust. Journaling helps too. Focus on reconnecting with yourself. What values matter to you? What kind of people make you feel safe? Use this time to nurture healthy friendships. Invest in people who uplift and understand you. Healing takes time. But every step moves you toward peace. You deserve friendships that feel good, not forced.
The Bottom Line
Not every bad friendship starts out toxic. Sometimes things just shift—slowly, subtly, painfully. But you don’t have to tolerate a connection that leaves you drained or hurt. Recognizing the signs is the first step. If someone constantly disrespects your boundaries, makes you feel small, or disappears when it matters—that’s not a friend. You deserve relationships built on trust, respect, and support. Choosing yourself isn’t selfish. It’s necessary. Healthy friendships don’t require shrinking, hiding, or sacrificing your peace. Let that guide you as you decide who gets a place in your life.
Read More: 9 Red Flags That Could Mean Your Relationship’s in Trouble