male and female couple smiling
Jade Small
Jade Small
January 24, 2024 ·  3 min read

Here’s Why So Many People Stay Friends with Their Exes

When a couple breaks up, it is felt by many more people than just the people involved. Friends become attached to our partners, our children too if they are not already in a biological sense. Where some couples want nothing more to do with each other when they break up, others manage to maintain some form of friendship.

Staying friends with exes.
Image credit: pexels

For those that find it completely mind-boggling to stay friends with exes, several. Studies have been done to find out why it makes sense. The participants of the study were university students from various institutions. 

People stay friends with exes if they share children

Children make a break-up extremely difficult. Let’s say a couple that shared children broke up. This is breaking up the parents and it has a great effect on them, married or not. Many times, people stay friends with exes for the sake of their children. It might be a rocky start, but with a little bit of effort it can work out. After all. It is never the child’s fault. 

Having kids, means staying friends
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Read: 10 Times People had to Choose their Pet Over Their Partners and How It Went

Holding residual feelings

When a breakup happens, it is oftentimes an unbalanced decision. One person has moved on and wants to spread their wings, while the other still loves them deeply. When this happens, they might want to keep their ex in their life as long as they can. Even if it is not the way you started. At least by staying friends with exes, you can still appreciate them without seeming like a crazy stalker. 

Breakups do not always mean here are no feelings for them left...
Image credit: Pexels


Sometimes the angry green jealousy monster comes out within us when our partner breaks up with us. Many people get swallowed whole by this feeling. They are consumed by the curiosity of who they are hanging out with now, how successful they are becoming, and so on. Staying friends with exes in this regard can help you stay on track with their activity… even if that seems a little crazy to you. 

Staying friends helps you keep an eye on them...
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Read: ‘I got sober for a man, stayed sober for my baby, now I stay sober for me.’: Woman credits abusive relationship for sobriety after meth addiction

Childhood sweethearts

Sometimes couples just get together too young for the relationship to last. However, that is no reason to throw away the potential of a lifetime of friendship. This person might just be the key to your childhood, keeping that memory of who you once were so they’re never forgotten. 

young love never dies, it evolves.
image credit: pexels

Codependent in terms of codependency 

Many relationships were more involved than the feelings that pulled them together. Without Exiting a break-up, the relationship was bound by financial support. This is usually in the form of codependency. This might be in the form of financial aid or shared resources. Or, it might be that neither of you knows how to be alone, so you depend on each other for emotional support.

The emotional dependency is real
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People stay friends with exes if they share a friendship circle

Our friends, like family, are very important to most of us. Some friendship circles are so tight-knit that it is no surprise that two people within the group might find an even closer bond. However, when they break up, this can be a travesty within the group. Your other friends might feel obligated to pick a side, and it might end up breaking the entire group apart. Some try to stay friends with exes as an attempt to prevent that – or just any future awkward gatherings. 

Staying friends, to make their friends happy
Image credit: pexels

Staying friends with exes for pragmatic reasons

Sometimes people stay friends with exes because they need help from each other from time to time. Maybe your ex was your only lift to work. So, you maintain a friendship to keep that benefit alive. It might be awkward at first, but some. Make it work! 

Keep Reading: 17 People Share Things That Terrify You Now That Didn’t Scare You as a Child


  1. The One Question to Ask Yourself Before Trying to Stay Friends With an Ex.” In style. Jenn Mann.
  2. 7 Reasons People Stay Friends with Their Exes.Sex and Psychology. Justin Lehmiller.