Marriage is a life-changing decision as a commitment is being made. Not only to only share your life but everything in it too. Well for the most part, as some marriages can also include some heavy-duty contracts too! Some relationships that end in marriage are from knowing each other a few weeks to a few years. There is no manual or timeline for finding the man you should marry! What is clear, is taking the time to utterly understand each other. And of course, to acknowledge what values you share is to know if marriage is indeed the next step to take. Only you and your partner will know if you are ready, letting pressures from family or others interfere can only lead to disaster… or divorce!
“If people want a long-term relationship or marriage (and don’t want a divorce), it takes time to get to know someone,” Anita Chlipala, LMFT, founder of Chicago-based relationship therapy firm Relationship Reality 312, tells Elite Daily. So, finally, 10 tips for guidance to women that feel they are at that stage in their lives.
1.Managing Your Differences
In every relationship, there will be differences in opinions, beliefs, food, children, and so on. The key to managing these differences when they come up is knowing how to compromise without feeling lost in your own values or identity.
“Differences are inevitable in a relationship, and I frequently see couples tear their relationship apart by doing things such as wanting their partner to change, by conveying to their partner that they are wrong, and criticizing and even being condescending toward their partner about their differences.”
2. Real Forgiveness And Productive Arguments.
Couples that don’t ever argue are a rarity. Some would even go as far as to say that those that don’t argue have underlying issues that they never deal with. Arguments open pathways to deal with issues, helping find the best solutions with the man you should marry by working through them constructively without conflict.
Behaviors that can lead to divorce according to Chlipala, are “criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling.”
Couples who manage their conflict and arguments well are on the right path, she emphasizes that “It’s a good sign if you find that you can work through arguments without escalating into fight-or-flight.”
3. Being On The Same Page About Your Future together.
Sharing your vision with the man you should marry and what you both see in your future together is critical and an integral foundation of a stable relationship with the man you should marry. Finding ways to compromise and make these important decisions can make or break your marriage. Chipla says: