We are often taught that apologizing even when you’re not wrong is the fastest and simplest way to maintain peace in any situation. We may be fully aware that we have not erred but just offering an apology makes us “the bigger person” and would potentially limit any future conflicts.
This is probably helpful with trivial issues, but there are some situations where apologizing unduly is just a step too far across the line.
Apologizing is an acknowledgment of a wrong you’ve done someone, a way to extend them a hand to offer forgiveness. It doesn’t make any sense to apologize for certain things that you are actually entitled to. That’s one way of reducing your self-worth and disregarding your own integrity.
Things you should never apologize for
There are simply some actions we should never have to feel guilty over because they are important to our emotional and psychological well-being. Here are seven things you should never offer anyone an apology for, no matter how tempting it is to “let it slide.”
Speaking your mind
You have the inalienable right to freedom of expression and no one should stop you from saying what’s on your mind. As long as you’re not slandering, defaming, or hurting someone else insensitively with your words, go right ahead and say what you got to say. Do not let anybody influence you into gulping down your opinions and embracing theirs. You are an individual with a mind of your own.
As long as you’re respectful of the feelings of others, it’s not your problem what they choose to deduce from what you’ve said.
Putting yourself first
Sometimes, we get so carried away with taking care of everyone else that we forget to take care of ourselves. The truth is, you can’t give what you don’t have and when you don’t take proper care of yourself, looking after others becomes a painful chore.
So, do not apologize for being “selfish” sometimes, if that’s what they’d call it. You owe it to yourself to give you all the happiness, security, and protection you could ever need.
Being comfortable with intimacy
Consensual intimacy is not a crime, and it’s high time society stopped acting as though it is a taboo. This is the 21st century and in many places around the world, women are still expected to clamp down on their intimacy needs while the bedrock of masculinity lies in a near-animalistic attitude toward it.
It’s okay for men to talk freely and openly about their ‘wild escapades,’ and when they are not inclined to do so, they are tagged as amateurs. Women, on the other hand, have to be ready to deal with the shaming that comes from being liberated.
The world still has a long way to go, but for now, do not be ashamed of being comfortable with a basic human need, and do not feel the need to apologize for it. Just make sure it’s always legal and consensual.
Making plans without consulting anyone
Approval and validation from others should only be allowed when you want it. You don’t need these things like a life source. You can do what you want with your life, time, money, and space. If you’re no longer under the legal guardianship of anyone, you’re free to live your life as you please.
You can wake up on a beautiful Monday morning, submit your annual leave application at work or close your store, pack a small bag, and head into the sunset without asking for anyone’s permission. You are accountable only to yourself.
If a proposal or a situation does not sit right with you, do not feel guilty or apologize for your decision to refuse. You have the right to say ‘no’ and move on with your head up, and if someone isn’t happy about that, that’s their problem to deal with.
Society expects us to conform to ‘laid-out’ structures and norms, a lot of which are not constitutional laws. They are just structures put in place to limit human freedom and when you break free from these chains, you are labeled a traitor, a rebel, or worse, a weakling.
Just do you and be you; the world will eventually adjust. Do not apologize for making decisions for yourself that are beyond the scope of what is “expected of you.” As long as you’re not breaking any laws or hurting anyone, by all means, live your life and just be happy.
High expectations for yourself
It’s okay to want and dream of having more. People may act like you’re over-ambitious or never satisfied with what you already have, but gratitude shouldn’t prevent you from aiming for better. You are a strong person with a powerful mind that can create magic. Harness your potential, follow your dreams, and sail to the sky.
Don’t ever be sorry for being you because that’s the only thing you’ve got to be.
Three Things You Should Never Break
There are just a few things in life that are so valuable that they cannot be bought by money. These things are such an important part of the human existence that when they are betrayed, our lives and relationships may begin to crumble. Humans aren’t perfect; we are all flawed in one way or the other and this inevitably affects our interpersonal relationships.
While for the most part, the only person you’re accountable to for your actions is yourself, decency demands that there are emotional phases you shouldn’t ever put other people through, even unintentionally.
When you break a person’s trust, heart, and the promises you made to them, you can’t expect them to be rational enough to understand why you did what you did. All they’d be thinking about at that moment is how deeply you’ve hurt them, and how long it could take to get over the pain.
Promises: It’s important to always think deeply before you make a promise, no matter how little or insignificant it is. Be sure that it’s something you can hold yourself up to, and if keeping that promise is going to cause more harm than breaking it, then don’t make it at all, because when you break a promise, it hurts the other person. It’s disappointing, unfair, and might end up eroding the other person’s self-esteem. It causes serious emotional conflicts and can strain relationships in terrible ways. As long as it won’t cause any form of harm to any other person, always hold up your promises.
Trust: Trust is like a newly-drawn sheet of paper: once folded, it can never be smooth again. Breaking a person’s trust is one of the quickest ways to deteriorate your relationship with them. We can’t go through life without expecting a measure of trust from other people, whether in relationships, friendships, or business, and we are expected to give it back. Once trust is broken, it’s impossible to piece it back together and take things back to the way they were.
The heart: A kind of physical pain manifests when we break someone else’s heart. It hurts so much that they could begin to feel the pain physically, a condition called Broken Heart Syndrome. It would also affect your mental wellbeing to know that you’ve hurt someone so much to put them in such a painful state.
Despite being so terrible, heartbreaks are sometimes inevitable. You have to leave a toxic relationship even if you’d break your partner’s heart. You could choose to follow your dreams and do what you love even if you’d break your parents’ hearts. You have to do what is right and own up to the truth even though you’d break a friend’s heart.
While these instances are often for the greater good, willingly, consciously, and knowingly breaking a person’s heart for no good reason is the lowest of low. Cheating, lying, defamation, and slander are some of the ways we could end up breaking someone’s heart unnecessarily. It’s unfair and wrong, and we must learn to be sensitive to other people’s feelings.
We owe it to the people we love, cherish, and move through life with to never break their hearts, trust, and the promises we make to them.
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