Arrogance looks different on everyone. You see it when someone is constantly late without any regard for others’ schedules or when they act as if they’re better than everyone.
And because they’re like this, it can be really hard to be friends with them, let alone just be around them.
It can be draining, headache-inducing, and also irritating. It takes the fun out of daily conversations and even demotivates you!
Does anyone come to mind that fits this description? Need more help figuring out if they are actually arrogant? This blog post will guide on how to spot an arrogant person plus hacks on how to deal with them too!
1. They always want to be in the spotlight
The absolute tell-tale sign that someone is arrogant is when they just love being in the spotlight. No matter what they do or say, they have this need to be the center of attention. They don’t notice how their need for attention is overbearing.
As if their usual self isn’t hard enough to deal with, adding in their achievements into the mix only inflates their ego even further. Sometimes they even try to downplay others’ success just because they want the spotlight on them.
It’s like Carly Simon wrote You’re So Vain exactly for them.
If their success was a team effort, they’ll belittle other people’s efforts. You’ll hear something like “thanks to me we were able to…”
Now, this might seem all too familiar, especially if you’ve watched Bobbi Adler from Will & Grace. No matter the occasion or no matter how mundane the day is, she found a way to make it all about her.
And this can get tiring to deal with after a while. Especially when it’s others’ turn to be celebrated.
2. They never admit it when they’re wrong
An arrogant person never admits when they’re in the wrong. In arguments, they’ll find a way to make it seem like they were agreeing with you in the first place. And that you’re the one who misunderstood them.
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Alternatively, they will also just move along when they realize that they’re wrong. They’ll act as if nothing happened and they won’t even apologize.
You will never really hear them say sorry. Sometimes they’ll even debate with you to the point where you end up apologizing to them. It’s as if you owe them an apology for wasting your time.
This is kind of like how Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory acts. He always thinks he’s right and never apologizes (unless of course his mother tells him to).
Even when they are at fault, they won’t apologize for it. It could be as simple as them accidentally stepping on your foot. Arrogant people won’t bother apologising and would make it seem like it’s even your fault because you were blocking their way.
Never admitting wrongdoing is not a personality trait anyone should strive for.
But what other traits do you have? What makes you unique and exceptional?
To help you find the answer, I’ve created a fun quiz. Answer a few personal questions and I’ll reveal what your personality “superpower” is and how you can utilize it to make the world a better place.
3. They think their preference is superior
If you have different preferences from them, they’ll immediately see you as inferior.
Whether it be their interest in mundane stuff like music, movies, or ships, or even more complex things such as politics, they tend to put themselves on a pedestal.
If you don’t like their favorite food, they’ll say you’re uncultured. They will say that you have terrible taste. Maybe they’ll even go as far as to insult your favorite cuisine and your go-to restaurants just to make themselves look better.
Or when you don’t want to eat at the restaurant they suggested, they’ll push their idea until you go with it. They probably even make up a story about a terrible experience they had in the cafe you want to go to just so you’ll cave.
Even with the tiniest little things, they’ll make sure to fight you for it. They expect you to follow what they like and nothing else.
Overall, they’re dismissive of your opinion if it’s not aligned with theirs. Even if everyone else agrees with you, it doesn’t matter. They’re still right!
4. They keep pulling others down
“I heard a rumor…”
They criticize everyone they know to the point where it can no longer be called constructive criticism. Arrogant people nitpick other’s mistakes without considering the person’s feelings.
When you cross someone arrogant, they won’t let you forget it. Even if you have apologized a hundred times after that, they’ll still remind you of past mistakes.
It’s like they’ve set your flaws and their negative experiences with you in stone just so they appear better than you.
They’ve made it their life’s mission to put others down just so they would look better. Their confidence comes from others’ failures.
5) They lie all the time
Arrogant people want you to believe that their lifestyle is better than yours.
They will lie about their lives to make it seem like theirs is much more interesting. Remember that incident when an influencer took a photo in first class only to go back to their seat in coach after they posted the photo. Cringe, much?
These pretentious people will brag about their lavish lifestyles and take deceiving photos to make sure you’re jealous of them!
Even if none of it is real! They make stories about visiting different places, such as expensive hotels or resorts just so they can rub it in your face.
They even lie about meeting celebrities! Like sure, Harry Styles just happened to be on that first-class flight to Paris, and he spilled champagne on your phone that’s why you don’t have pictures. Sure, we believe you.
They go the extra mile just so you wouldn’t see them as inferior or on the same level as you. In their mind, if they don’t look better than you, there’s something wrong. To avoid this, they lie about who they are.
And most of the time, they get away with it too.
6. They never give you a chance to speak
This is definitely a big sign that they’re arrogant. This is the type of person who will cut you off when you are trying to say something. They will even take credit for what you were trying to say.
Have you ever experienced pitching an idea and suddenly getting interrupted by them talking over you? It’s so annoying and disrespectful! This happens especially when you’re with a group of people.
This really goes back to them always wanting the spotlight. But much more than that, this really speaks volumes about how inconsiderate they can be. You just want to hush them sometimes!
Getting a chance to speak, even if it’s just something like sharing a story about your morning coffee trip, is important.
They are the absolute opposite of Jason Mendoza from The Good Place. Listening isn’t their best trait. In fact, there are times when they don’t listen to you at all.
All they do is take up all the space because they believe they’re the only ones with anything valuable today. They can really be a handful.
If you want to learn more about condescending people and how to deal with them, check out the below video.
7. They get mad at feedback
When you give them feedback about their work, they take it the wrong way. Arrogant people get so defensive when they think they’re being criticized.
They see your remark as negative feedback even if you were just being objective. It doesn’t matter if your intentions are pure, they won’t take it well.
You leave them with a comment on how you think they can improve their performance and they’ll think that you’re judging or hating on them.
You’d think that someone who likes progress would like some insights from other people on how to get better. But that’s far from the truth. Because arrogant people want ideas to come from themselves.
They don’t want to hear about what you think about their work if it’s something negative.
8. They’re too competitive
“The essence of competitiveness is liberated when we make people believe that what they think and do is important – and then get out of their way while they do it.”
– Jack Welch
Everything is a competition with arrogant people. They don’t care how aggressive they get when they’re trying to achieve success.
Have you ever met a grown adult who’ll throw a tantrum over losing to a card game where they would yell at you, say that they’ve been cheated on, and even flip the table? Talk about a sore loser!
A good example of someone who gets too aggressive when they are competitive is Barney from How I Met Your Mother. With his every “Challenge accepted”, you can tell how desperate he is to reach whatever goal is thrown his way.
It’s the same with other arrogant people. There are so many things they want to be the best at which aren’t even worth competing over.
We’re all up for them achieving their goals and desires, but it’s a little too much if they step on their friends in order to get on top.
9. They get mad when things don’t go their way
Arrogant people breed a certain amount of rudeness inside of them.
For example, when a waiter gets their order wrong, they flip out immediately. Or when someone doesn’t choose to partner up with them, they’ll take it personally when it’s not really a big deal.
Arrogant people can be Type A. Everything has to go exactly according to their plans. And if things go south, they will blame it on someone else.
They have this perfect little view of their life and if they think you’re a factor in things going sideways, they’ll get mad at you.
It’s incredibly toxic and draining.
They just force things to go their way because they’re very keen on how they want things to be. They fixate on the future that they want for themselves and they’re not open to compromise. Even when there’s no way they can get what they want.
10. They “step on” other people
Arrogant people will go through any means to come out on top.
They’ll even step on other people along the way to make sure no one steals the position from them. You’ll often see them disrespecting service workers and taking advantage of the inferior.
Sometimes they would even cut the line when no one else is looking. They think they “deserve” this. It’s a very unfair way of thinking.
Or maybe they would degrade someone else’s work ethic so they would get the promotion.
Talk about schemy! Stepping on other people to achieve your goals is never worth it. You never know when karma will strike.
Their personality is just hard to handle.
These people are especially annoying and insulting. They don’t care who’s standing in their way! Next thing you know, you’re under just the dirt on their heels.
So how can you overcome this insecurity that’s been nagging you that lets people treat you this way?
The most effective way is to tap into your personal power.
You see, we all have an incredible amount of power and potential within us, but most of us never tap into it. We become bogged down in self-doubt and limiting beliefs. We stop doing what brings us true happiness.
I learned this from the shaman Rudá Iandê. He’s helped thousands of people align work, family, spirituality, and love so they can unlock the door to their personal power.
He has a unique approach that combines traditional ancient shamanic techniques with a modern-day twist. It’s an approach that uses nothing but your own inner strength – no gimmicks or fake claims of empowerment.
Because true empowerment needs to come from within.
In his excellent free video, Rudá explains how you can create the life you’ve always dreamed of and increase attraction in your partners, and it’s easier than you might think.
How to deal with arrogant people
1. Call them out when they’re being rude
If this person is part of your friend group, try talking to them first. See if they acknowledge their mistake.
Other people would try doing interventions where everyone comes together to talk to the arrogant person and voice out their concerns. In this case, gather your friends and devise a plan on how to make sure no one gets hurt because of them and their actions!
Don’t tolerate them being rude. Because it doesn’t really help anyone. Prevent yourself from enabling them too.
2. Kill them with kindness
♪ See, we don’t have to fall from grace. Put down the weapons you fight with. And kill ’em with kindness. ♪
No truer words have been spoken.
You can avoid situations like them forcing their opinion on you by accepting who you’re talking to.
If you’ve had negative experiences dealing with this person and their arrogance, maybe it’s best to avoid talking about landmine topics with them.
Or if they’re being obnoxious with their attitude, take the high road.
Arrogant people have such strong personalities that it can be overwhelming for most people around them. But once you put yourselves in their shoes, you can understand why they act this way.
So when you meet an arrogant person, don’t judge them too quickly!
3. Ask them questions
Most of the time, these arrogant people who ignore or dismiss your opinions aren’t secure with their own.
They also have doubts about their opinions and decisions they’ve stood by.
As a response, they pretend that your ideas are irrelevant. What you should do in these cases is to ask them questions on why they believe their opinion is more valid.
This is all you have to do. Once they start talking, you’ll notice how they’ll slowly realize the gaps in their opinion.
Making your questions really detailed helps too. Because when you slowly piece things together in front of them, they’ll see the loopholes for themselves as well.
4. Be patient
Dealing with an arrogant person requires a lot of patience. Sometimes you have to let them have their way. Because even if they’re open to changing their habits, it will take some time.
They might be instances where they would fall back to their old behavior.
This is called spontaneous recovery. Spontaneous recovery is when a behavior that was thought to be “extinct” is suddenly exhibited. This means that the person might become arrogant again even when they didn’t intend to.
Old habits die hard, right? But don’t worry just yet, they can still work on it and stop that kind of behavior eventually. Some things just take time and effort to unlearn.
You just have to be patient with them.
There may even be an underlying reason as to why they act this way. Maybe they use their arrogance as a mask. And once you get to know them, they will open up to you and you might find a person that just feels unheard.
Patience is the key!
5. Show them trusted sources
When they keep pushing that they’re right, show them your sources.
Prove to them that they’re in the wrong with credible sources and social proof. They can’t really argue with facts. This might trigger them to get defensive.
Maybe you’ll even see them contradicting themselves. And when they do, explain to them kindly why you think things don’t really add up.
Share the reference you saw that debunks their theory or that blog post that explains why their opinion is flawed. They won’t easily give in at first but they’ll come around.
Hard to lie when someone’s waving the truth in your face, right?
6. Don’t give in
If an arrogant person keeps talking over you, what you can do in this situation is to keep on talking. When they try to butt in, finish your sentence! Stand firm.
And if they try to cut you off anyways, make a stand and speak your mind “I’m not done speaking. Do not interrupt me.”
Let them know how you want them to listen to you first and that they’ll get their turn. Help them understand that you’ll listen to their input after you get to share yours.
Sometimes you really have to be explicit about how they’re cutting you off. Because there are times when they just can’t take a hint.
7. Make a stand
When you see that an arrogant person is belittling someone else, stand up for them. You know how it feels like when this happens.
Tell them they’re being inconsiderate of the person’s feelings or that they’re being too harsh with their words.
Offer alternative sentences with kinder words. Explain to them that “this looks ugly” could be said as “I prefer…”
Or when the arrogant person keeps talking over someone else. Ask them to pause while you’re listening to someone else’s input. Let them know that they will have their turn.
8. Avoid any interaction
You can’t compete with someone who isn’t in the game, right?
Well, that’s your solution! Either exclude yourself from any sort of event with them that can lead or better yet don’t invite them when you’re doing something.
You can also explicitly tell them why you don’t want to compete with them.
This is the time for you to make it known why you’ve decided to exclude them in games, projects, and conversations!
Who knows? Maybe they’ll take a hint and change their arrogant ways.
You won’t be wasting your time and energy trying to debate with a close-minded person this way. Spend your time doing fruitful things instead. Or better yet, talk to someone who’ll listen to you instead.
Because sometimes actions speak louder than words.
9. Radiate self-confidence
Don’t let them get in your head. You are a remarkable person and don’t let them make you think otherwise.
Tune out their negative comments about you because your worth isn’t dictated by them. Show them that you’re unbothered by their opinions and this will throw them off.
Arrogant people often feed off of other people’s insecurities, so starving them will render them helpless! This is one of the most effective ways to deal with them because more often than not, they just want your attention and reaction.
Act purposefully and unapologetically unbothered, and they are sure to leave you alone.
10. Fight fire with fire
When kindness doesn’t seem to be working, outdo them. Give them a taste of their own medicine. Sometimes that’s the only way they’ll take you seriously is to fight fire with fire.
Most arrogant people are impressed when someone is more superior to them. Sure, they get a little jealous but they will also give their respects.
And after that, they’ll see you as someone equal to them. They will act less rude and snarky around you because they truly want to hear your thoughts.
If ever they get too insecure and leave you alone, hey, that’s still a win for you!
Arrogant people look tough to deal with at first but once you understand the patterns, it’ll be easy to befriend them.
Written By: Colleen Florendo
This article was originally published on hackspirit.